Lulu Devine


 
I've just returned from a two-day business trip to Cardiff. This 48-hour excursion provided incontrovertible proof of several things, including that service station burgers taste ten times as good at four in the morning; that truck drivers are a friendly bunch who will gladly smile and say hello to others taking a break from the motorway in the pre-dawn hours; that Welsh hospitality is a delight; and that there is never more than a five-minute gap between hearing people in the Bay area say, 'Oh wow, that's the secret entrance to Torchwood!'

I've always loved Wales. Several family holidays during my childhood were based in the north of the country, notably in a converted watermill near Bala and on a farm with a view of Snowdon. It was in Wales that I first rode a horse. Accordingly it was also in Wales that I first fell off one.

Visits to the south have been rarer, although a fortnight in a static caravan in Saundersfoot is a fond memory. Where else could you walk to the neighbouring town (Tenby) via the beach at low tide, then take a trip to a monks' island (Caldey) in an ex-military mini landing craft known as a duck whilst leaning over the side to spot jellyfish?

Cardiff though was new territory. The city has in recent years been accorded worldwide promotion twice over thanks first to the massive modern redevelopment, and second to Doctor Who.

Given that most roadsigns in Wales are written in both English and Welsh, and that it takes mere moments to learn that 'police' in Welsh is 'heddlu,' I now wish I'd learned a little of the language as a courtesy. Just a few basic but essential phrases, such as 'Good evening,' 'Have you met Charlotte Church?' and 'It's bigger on the inside...'

My husband, who was easily persuaded to come along for a short break and sweetly did all the driving, was, in a purely masculine sense you understand, complimentary about Cardiff's shopping. The real meaning of this is probably that there are plenty of bars and coffee shops among the boutiques, but he did also present me with an exquisite little jade brooch and matching silk scarf. Daniel's spur-of-the-moment romantic side is as charming as the waitress in our hotel's restaurant, who, on learning we were newly(ish) married, sent a box of chocolates up to our room later that evening.

We drove home on Thursday afternoon by way of Hereford, home of my beloved Bulls who in a display of unrivalled kindness are still propping up the other 91 teams in the football league. It was sad beyond words to see the damage done to some historic buildings by the recent fire, but a joy to pay a fleeting visit to the town and enjoy an enormously generous bar meal beside a real log fire. There was even a labrador curled up in front of it.

All this notwithstanding, there's no place like home, and the moments when the M4 becomes the M25 becomes the M23 and Gatwick Airport hoves into view are reassuringly familiar. But thank you, people of Cardiff and Hereford. We'll be back...
 
I hesitate to invite dreadful and over-tired comments with punning remarks about 'Devine' inspiration, but no sooner had I bemoaned the dismal performances that have seen Hereford sitting unprettily at the bottom of the Football League than the club sacked the manager. Much as I would love to be able to claim some sort of mystical influence over events, I think I can say without fear of contradiction that this was purely coincidental.

It certainly came as a surprise, as did the news this morning that just along the south coast in Hastings the pier has burned down. I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but there have been a suspicious number of blazes on piers, and at this rate the British coast is going to be littered with Victorian metal stilts sticking out the seabed but with nothing left to hold up.

Surprises have been numerous lately, not least the discovery over the weekend that a certain very good friend can knit. This was quite a revelation, not least because the person in question is only 17 and is probably the last of my social circle who I'd expect to be familiar with the mantra of 'knit one, pearl one' or the sound of clacking needles.

The said friend and her slightly older sister must now be the first to be given blog identities. I decided before setting up this personal site that I would never actually name anyone in these entries, partly because I respect privacy in the same way as I expect it, and also because it is, frankly, more fun to appoint sobriquets. It's a device deployed frequently by columnists (AA Gill, for example, refers to his partner as The Blonde), and is a useful means of populating these posts with the characters in my life without publicly identifying them.

So, let us call these American sisters now resident here in Brighton by the shadowy nicknames of Manhattan Musician and PR Brunette (since the former is a classical musician and the latter works at a PR agency; protecting but not confusing). For those who need assistance or occasional reminders of who is who within these diaries, I'll add a companion page to the site with a list of these protective names and brief descriptions.

And so a final thought that surfaced when contemplating knitting as an improbable leisure activity of one so young. Quite apart from the possibility of a few homemade baby clothes coming my way when Daniel and I welcome our firstborn in March, it struck me that arguably one of the most surreal fashion trends ever devised is the use of knitting needles as hair accessories. Of course it's inspired by the ladies of Japan, but it does look peculiar. It's tempting to entwine my tresses around something equally bizarre just to make a point - a knife and fork, perhaps, or a cocktail umbrella. But the latter would just be silly; I mean, where would I put the olive..?
 
It appears that being a Hereford United supporter and being pregnant have one thing in common: they are seen by others as cues for unsolicited but well-meaning advice.

It's no surprise to me that my pregnancy has opened the flood gates to a torrent of tips, and it's no less surprising that most of them seem to have been extracted from that old faithful, the book of old wives' tales. So whilst I'm amused to be told that eating broccoli will improve the likelihood of our child being a girl and that wearing copper jewellery will protect my all-round well-being, I'm no more liable to put any faith in these apparently random bits of hand-me-down wisdom than I am to ever consider an attempt to influence the gender of our baby through vegetables or to accessorise with some cheap piece of tat for health reasons. Please, I have standards.

Hereford are currently rooted to the bottom of League Two and in desperate need of mountaineering equipment if they're to stand any immediate chance of climbing to even minor heights. This is of course a topic on which even more people are wont to pronounce, the beautiful game being one of those things on which the world, his wife and their labradoodle have an opinion. And for me, the self-proclaimed football experts are only one step below holier-than-thou ex-smokers on the irritating smugness scale. (I speak as an ex-smoker but one who merely gets on with it and does not preach. This may change when I have a baby's lungs to protect, so if I rant on the theme next year you'll know why.)

What makes the armchair punditry worse is not the fact that everybody, myself included, thinks they know better than their team's manager, but that those who wryly pass the sentence of doom upon Hereford are always supporters of the top teams in the Premier League. Well, I say supporters; I'm acquainted with rather too many people who seem to support the likes of Manchester United with clearly no ties to the team, the town or even the region. Yes, it's easy to follow a team that does well. But you'll only find true passion in the lower leagues, even if does come with the required side order of frequent despair.

My husband, a man wise enough to preserve an aura of peace and tranquility around my volatile hormones, is one of the few who makes no proclamations on the Bulls. Instead he quietly perseveres with his loyalty to Brighton & Hove Albion, and I look upward at their lofty perch atop League One with envy.

And one need only look to the farmland skirting this city to observe this simple truth: seagulls do soar above bulls...