Lulu Devine


 
Whilst making my mind up between the many indulgent delights in a high-street bakery, I overheard a conversation between a mother and her young child.

'There are three colours in a rainbow!' the child loudly proclaimed out of nowhere. To which the mother replied, 'Don't be silly. There are eight colours in a rainbow.'

I struggle to say a kind word about this country's previous administration, but I had a strong urge to turn to the woman and shout, 'Education, education, education!' I only wish I could be there the next time she sits down with her offspring and a picture book and begins helping him to count the rainbow's colours. And no doubt scientists would like to know what that eighth one is; who knows, it could be as significant as the elusive particles they're looking for in the Large Hadron Collider, that ultimate big boys' toy.

Instead, I plucked a chicken mayo baguette from the shelf and said nothing. Later, at Asda (other supermarkets are available) I found myself buying the biggest frozen chicken I could find, and realised that the first random craving of my pregnancy might just have kicked in.

It hadn't, as it turned out. But since then, two cravings do seem to have taken a firm grip on my daily dietary intake and assumed control of a whole shelf in the fridge. I am now at the mercy of rice pudding and custard. Not at the same time, I hasten to add, but in equal measures.

The shame of it is that I'm not even making my own. I could, and indeed often do, but life is busy and when a craving for either hits me the last thing I want to do is have to make it myself. So there is now a sizeable collection of (I say it with shame) tins of custard and rice pudding in our kitchen.

True, wandering around Asda and filling a corner of the trolley with 17p tins of own-brand rice pudding and custard doesn't feel good. Usually I wouldn't stoop so low. Speaking of which, could we please have it on a slightly higher shelf rather than at almost floor level? The pitying smile as all those cheap tins beep their way over the scanner is bad enough, without having had to almost go down on my knees to get them in the first place. I'll pile them high if you will!

But it turns out that custard is a secret love that hangs over from the treats of childhood well into our adult lives. Think about it; when dining out, custard is seldom seen on any menu, even as an option, and it's not something any of us ever mention when talking about food. But there I was, texting a friend the other afternoon, when I happened to mention these new cravings and he instantly craved custard himself. You see? We never grow out of it. It's a moreish secret treat.

And thus one of the rules of motherhood that I shall be instigating during my child's life is simply this. Custard's too good for children; it's ours!
 
I hesitate to invite dreadful and over-tired comments with punning remarks about 'Devine' inspiration, but no sooner had I bemoaned the dismal performances that have seen Hereford sitting unprettily at the bottom of the Football League than the club sacked the manager. Much as I would love to be able to claim some sort of mystical influence over events, I think I can say without fear of contradiction that this was purely coincidental.

It certainly came as a surprise, as did the news this morning that just along the south coast in Hastings the pier has burned down. I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but there have been a suspicious number of blazes on piers, and at this rate the British coast is going to be littered with Victorian metal stilts sticking out the seabed but with nothing left to hold up.

Surprises have been numerous lately, not least the discovery over the weekend that a certain very good friend can knit. This was quite a revelation, not least because the person in question is only 17 and is probably the last of my social circle who I'd expect to be familiar with the mantra of 'knit one, pearl one' or the sound of clacking needles.

The said friend and her slightly older sister must now be the first to be given blog identities. I decided before setting up this personal site that I would never actually name anyone in these entries, partly because I respect privacy in the same way as I expect it, and also because it is, frankly, more fun to appoint sobriquets. It's a device deployed frequently by columnists (AA Gill, for example, refers to his partner as The Blonde), and is a useful means of populating these posts with the characters in my life without publicly identifying them.

So, let us call these American sisters now resident here in Brighton by the shadowy nicknames of Manhattan Musician and PR Brunette (since the former is a classical musician and the latter works at a PR agency; protecting but not confusing). For those who need assistance or occasional reminders of who is who within these diaries, I'll add a companion page to the site with a list of these protective names and brief descriptions.

And so a final thought that surfaced when contemplating knitting as an improbable leisure activity of one so young. Quite apart from the possibility of a few homemade baby clothes coming my way when Daniel and I welcome our firstborn in March, it struck me that arguably one of the most surreal fashion trends ever devised is the use of knitting needles as hair accessories. Of course it's inspired by the ladies of Japan, but it does look peculiar. It's tempting to entwine my tresses around something equally bizarre just to make a point - a knife and fork, perhaps, or a cocktail umbrella. But the latter would just be silly; I mean, where would I put the olive..?